I went through an excessive number of partners in this manner. However, with my previous(current) spouse, I was determined not to repeat the error.

I immediately informed my new companion that I could only be obtained through clitoral stimulation. I informed him that I had never had orgasms with partners. That was an excellent move. That relieved both myself and him of pressure. I could immediately relax and focus on learning to enjoy sex, rather than continuously thinking about why I wasn’t having an orgasm and how I could conceal it. If I’d previously spent years faking one with him, this would be significantly more difficult, but it would still be absolutely required.

Additionally, I discovered that being candid and open about this helped me be more assertive about what I desired in bed. Rather of prioritizing his pleasure at the expense of mine, I now ensured that I was as comfortable as he was with what we were doing.

I established my boundaries; I told him what I loved and what I despised. I discovered kegel muscles.

I discovered that the majority of sex positions did not require me to tension my kegel muscles as much as the ones I used during solitary masturbation did. As a result, I corrected that. We identified postures that were effective. We discovered sex toys in adult toy stores (성인용품). We managed to make it work. I took my time, not setting lofty goals for myself, but rather progressively, organically, and safely exploring new territory.


I’ve come to the simple and liberating realization that I don’t have to be dishonest with myself or my partner by faking an orgasm. His ego is not so paramount that I must lie, tolerate unpleasant situations, and disregard my own body signals. I don’t need to be so terrified of offending him that I put up a front. If I didn’t compel my partner to come, I’d like to know. I’d rather direct my efforts toward asserting, “No, it does not work.” Instead, try this.” I’ve discovered that saying “no” in bed is a tremendous weapon, particularly when it comes to determining what your body is comfortable with, what it craves, and what it requires. Utilize it.